TH3 L1TTL3 D1CK TH CR3AM3ED
by ilovebotdf111
Summary: A teenage boy destroys his life after one bad decision. Especially powerful for teenage readers, this gut wrenching tale of redemption examines the bleak futures of American adolescents.


TH3 L1TTL3 D1CK TH CR3AM3ED

My name

My name is Aloysius Starr, and "SHIT! I'm L8 4 CL-ASS". I sprinted down the hallways of my one story mansion and I heard my mom scream "Aloysius, don't forget to eat breakfast! Studies have SHOWN that when a KID eats BREAKFAST he will perform better on an exam, no matter if he studied or not! Also, a healthy breakfast will help YOU pay attention in clASS!"

I responded "Fuq you mom! I hate breakfast and do you remember what happened l-ASS-t time?" She shivered with pleasure for some reason when I said this and we engaged in incest. "I don't need any breakfast, I studied for this test!"

"Well you better get going before school ends." She was right. I woke up at 8 in the morning and now it was 23:00. I missed school by just a hair.

When I went to school the next morning I realized that it was Saturday and I wasn't supposed to be there, so I left and returned on Monday. When I sat down for English class, we received our tests back. On mine there was a big fat "F" followed by "U" "C" and "K". There was a comment next to it, and it read "Take this all of you and drink from it…" and it went on and on.

I met with the teacher after class and asked why I failed the test. When she responded that I wasn't here to take it and I had an unexcused absence, I remembered the events of all those days ago. It all came back to me at once. I remember that I sprinted down the hallways of my one story mansion and I heard my mom scream "Aloysius, don't forget to eat breakfast! Studies have SHOWN that when a KID eats BREAKFAST he will perform better on an exam, no matter if he studied or not! Also, a healthy breakfast will help YOU pay attention in clASS!"

I responded "Fuq you mom! I hate breakfast and do you remember what happened l-ASS-t time?" She shivered with pleasure for some reason when I said this and we engaged in incest. "I don't need any breakfast, I studied for this test!"

"Well you better get going before school ends." She was right. I woke up at 8 in the morning and now it was 23:00. I missed school by just a hair.

It was embarrassing to remember all of this in the middle of my conversation, so I had no choice but to accept my "F" with open arms. I failed my Junior year of high school. I would've been upset if I didn't have to shit so bad! But that's not the worst part! When I excused myself to go to the bathroom, my teacher reached into my pants and started throttling my cock. I thought to myself, "Damn, I want to have sex, but man, I gotta shit!" So I brought my teacher with me to the bathroom and I shit turds out of my ass. It seemed to turn my teacher on. After I was done with my monstrous shitting I exploded my creamy load into my teachers mouth and she choked.

And that's why I'm wanted for murder.

Panting heavily like a dog panting heavily, I said, "娘不認識我!" and I rushed to hide the body. I reached my hand down her throat and pulled the hidden lever in every body that turns every corpse into a wallet, and I put the freshly made wallet into my asshole. "Wow, that feels loose," I concluded, as I pulled my blue jeans over my kock.

As I left the lavatory I saw my ex-girlfriend, a Jew that was lovingly named Chantal Possy. She was a renowned lesbian. I walked up to her and said "Hey I just want you to know that soon the cops will take me away and I will know the true meaning of justice and my teacher sucked my chode and I killed her so please fuq me 1 l-ASS-t thyme." I realized that Chantal died years ago of a strangulated inguinal hernia and it was revealed that she was a tranny. Who was I talking to? No matter, as I beat her upon this realization. I took out my Pilot G-2 and stabbed her in the eye in front of my gym teacher, old Dallas Tennessee. It was well known that he was wanted for grand larceny. I put my finger to my lips and whispered "Shhhhh" and then I dragged the corpse into my locker.

And that's why I'm wanted for insurance fraud.

I quickly retreated to my home in the knick of time, as every police officer in the county was after my meaty ass. I found my mom shitting on the carpet, and I told her my situation.

"And that's why I'm wanted for pyramid schemes!" I concluded, out of breath from recapping my story. It took me a minute to find out that I wasn't in my house, and instead had stumbled upon some Occultist Ritual in which they eat the shit of the fallen angel Lucifer, which has been passed down to the eldest whore of the cult. The cultists looked at me and said "Lorem ipsum vis prandium? Habemus hic mauris. Paenitet vere sumus hoc fuisse, et dimittam vos, certe sine molestia. Vestibulum est." I let out a blood-curdling wail, as what they said could only be translated into one thing: "Tomorrow we are going to court because we have a minor in possession."

Today was just not my day. yad ym ton tsuj saw yadoT.

I ran out of the house and the police were waiting for me. The sheriff walked stepped out of his car and shot me promptly in the left shoulder, as it was believed that a bullet to the left shoulder would kill the devil inside. They seemed satisfied and left the scene. The case of Aloysius Star was closed on the grounds of an exorcism.

As I was strapped to the chair and the bible was presented, I remember feeling scared, mostly because there was a demon inside me. But as Jad Brasko began to read the sacred text, I realized that at that moment I was euphoric, not because of some phony God's blessing, but because I'm enlightened by my own intelligence.

**And that's why I'm wanted for racketeering. **

**FIN**


End file.
